Recently, J.C. Hutchins asked across various social networks for people to sum up their 2011 in one word, and then sum up their hopes for 2012 in another. I responded with three.

Yes, I’m a rebel. Screw the rules, ‘cause that’s how I roll.

Man, I really need to make “avoid talking street” a New Year’s Resolution. Now where was I? Oh yeah, Hutch’s “Sum Up Your 2011” question…

I responded with “The Small Step” because I’ve started looking ahead already to 2012. Planning for appearances. Pre-production for a book trailer. Considering a posting schedule for Volume Two of Tales from the Archives.  And, of course, the release of The Janus Affair. It just feels like everything is piling on already, and I’ve still not put away Christmas decorations.

Not sure what it was about this week — maybe the storm front breaking, maybe the sunrise, maybe the unusually smooth commute to work, who knows? — I started to look back. 2011 has been one astounding year. A year of change. A year of direction. Some of these items may some across as a touch trivial, but they defined the year for me, and are helping me work through tough spots and dark times. I stopped to think of those high points and put them out there on this blog, my intent being that you might find five things to be thankful for at this time.

5.  Getting My Game Back. This is P.C. Haring’s fault; and while I might have sounded disgruntled about it on The Shared Desk, it’s been something that I’ve missed. Terribly. The story goes that P.C. was paying a visit and, on hearing we had picked up an XBox for Sonic Boom, he took it upon himself to bring a few games for the grown-up’s. Both Paul and Pip have seen me shout and swear and blame the controller (which, when it’s a Kinect game, is kind of embarrassing); but I find myself constantly drawn back to the challenges of Aperture Laboratories or the overrun Arkham Asylum. (Batman: Arkham City is in the wings. I just need to complete Asylum’s basic story, and then I’m in.) I had forgotten how much I loved to game when I was a kid (ColecoVision reprah-ZENT!), and now I find it a nice stress relief. (Stop laughing at me, Pip!) When I feel stuck creatively or survive a less-than-satisfying day at the office, I find inverted takedowns when hanging from a gargoyle most satisfying.

And there is, of course, the workout aspect of the Kinect. I pwn The Humpty Dance!

4.  Investing in the Home. Last year, between one incredible day where friends and family helped me get the place in order, to Pip helping me sort and organize the details, I have found my house to be an ongoing challenge. That was when I regarded it as a house. My original plan was to hold on to it for a few years and then move. This was before I discovered what was in plain sight: an incredible community of people who I now refer to as friends. When Pip arrived for a more permanent stay, I saw myself caring less about the house and more about my home.

Our home.

Additions arrived. Changes were made. It’s no longer a place where my stuff is. We’ve got a home now. It feels great.

3. Sonic Boom: The Next Chapter. Being a parent is not easy. It wasn’t easy when she was born. It wasn’t easy when it was just the two of us. Presently, it’s no different from Arkham Asylum — each subsequent level is harder than the previous one. (Admittedly, there are far fewer sociopaths and super villains involved when parenting Sonic Boom, although there are some days the Boom could give Harley Quinn a run for the money in the diva department.) In this year, with Pip at her side, I’ve seen her take strides developmentally that have me in awe. I’ve watched her go from dropping to the ground and throwing fits to “calmly” working out problems, working through them, and not giving up. In Taekwondo, I’ve watched her rise to challenges that I thought was far out of her reach and conquer them. She’s not perfect (neither are her parents); but considering everything that’s been thrown at her, she’s continuing to take strides forward. I’m really, really proud of her.

2. The Launch of Phoenix Rising. Yeah, the game changer. At the end of the April, this steampunk novel joined many other urban fantasy, science fiction, and epic fantasy novels on bookshelves. Did it take the world by storm? Well, no. While Pip had the well-received Geist under her belt already and we both had nearly ten years of fiction, podcasting, and non-fiction under our belts, we were still regarded as “newcomers.” But much like Geist, Phoenix Rising has been enjoying what can be best described as a slow burn. The title was honored as one of Goodread’s Top Ten Science Fiction Titles of 2011 and the winner of the 2011 Airship Awards for Best Steampunk Literature. Pip and I were invited to be speakers at ComicCon New York. And we have been introduced to a generous, creative community of people who have made time for our book and have been enjoying our initial offering. It’s been a wild and wacky eight months; and with The Janus Affair slated for a May release, we have more amazing adventures ahead of us.

1. Getting Married. Yeah, this may sound very newlywed or “If you don’t make this #1 for 2011, Pip is so gonna pwn you!” but it’s the truth. The ceremony really did bring together a lot of things that made 2011 such a fantastic year. Pip looked amazing. The neighbors turned out and decorated the new patio with lights, banners, and flowers. And then there were the neighbors themselves — once total strangers to me, now some of the best people in my life. These same neighbors became fast friends with Pip and a support crew for Sonic Boom. All those emotions, hopes, and anticipations reached critical mass on that Saturday morning when a “simple paperwork ceremony” became an incredibly special day for the three of us. We — Pip, Sonic Boom, and I — became a family. We were blessed by God with fantastic weather for October, and also blessed with a Justice of the Peace who had a sense of humor. At the end of the vows, she read to those assembled “I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now go and update your Facebook status.”

Priceless.

Nothing’s really changed between us, and yet everything feels different. I don’t make claims of being perfect in our relationship, and I work to make sure Pip is okay, that our communication is rock solid, and that we’re making time for each other as well as the family. Maybe it’s easier with only the three of us, but then again there’s nothing really “easy” about a marriage. It is work, but I play as hard as I work, and I can only hope Pip and the Boom are having as much fun in this family as I am.

So there it is — another year gone, but what a year it has been. Now 2012 is just a few days away, and there is that feeling of expectation. Right now, I feel like I’m on the edge of something big, something wonderful; and I am ready for the new year to begin and set off on this new adventure. But before doing so, it never hurts to look back, consider the lessons learned, and be thankful for friends old and new who have enjoyed the ride with me.

Thanks, everyone. See you all on the other side.

Chevron 9. Locked.

Just a quick bit of news before the holidays — the 99¢ sale of Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel is now officially on! And here’s where you can find it…

Kindle — http://amzn.to/o31YFI
Nook — http://bit.ly/rBBrT7
Kobo — http://bit.ly/ulBPet
iTunes — http://bit.ly/uuQ0XS

That’s right, Harper Voyager has lowered the eBook price of Phoenix Rising down to 99¢ for a limited time, and this isn’t just for Kindle, but all ebook readers out there. We’re getting the word out today, so if you’ve been curious about steampunk, or how I write in novel-length with Pip Ballantine, or just in the need for something new to read, here is the 2011 Airship winner for 99¢. Feel free to leave us a review and tell a friend!

Something tells me this is hint of things to come. Pip and I are working on a new trailer, bigger and badder than the last one. We have a Christmas Special in the works for both The Shared Desk and Tales from the Archives. And we’re looking ahead to 2012. All this before Christmas.

I need a vacation.

So this week, you might have heard from SyFy’s Blastr that steampunk is dead, and let’s face it — when it comes to really knowing what fans of Science Fiction think, you can’t really argue with the same people who cancelled Farscape, Eureka, and Stargate Universe to make room for reality TV and professional wrestling…

…but I digress…

From high profile blogs like Gawker to passionate fan sites like Stellar Four, the death bell tolled for my beloved genre of gears, cogs, and steam. It was all over. Time to dismantle the analytical engine, box up the boater hats, and put your goggles away. Steampunk, a genre created back in the Eighties due to a group of authors that challenged this boundaries of imagination, had officially been ruined, all due to a single music video from a beloved pop star.

My own response to this?

Seriously? Seriously?! Steampunk is dead because of a Justin Bieber video?

I think the guy who’s face truly is next to the definition of steampunk, Jared Axelrod, said it best:

“If having a teen heartrob play your sandbox ‘ruins’ it, then it probably wasn’t your sandbox to begin with.

If you haven’t seen the video, I insist you watch it. I will say this much — it’s a step up from Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”

Pip and I have stepped into the genre just this year, and we came in with our boilers at full with a podcast anthology and a book. We’ve been learning a lot since we dropped that first short story in Tales from the Archives, but one thing I’ve been noticing is a great divide whenever steampunk steps closer to mainstream culture. Whenever steampunk is introduced in mainstream venues, elitists ranging from steampunks who “know how it is properly done” to SMOFs (Secret Masters/Mistresses of Fandom) who have hated the sub-genre now that it is making its presence known at SF conventions everywhere cry “FOUL!” and proclaim that steampunk is dead.

Well, to you nay-saying asshats I say your arguments are completely invalid. Why? Because you — and if you’re looking around the table of geeks and wondering if you’re wondering who the asshat is, congratulations, you’re the wiener — are pointing out why we get persecuted and dismissed by mainstream culture.

Do we want steampunk to go mainstream? Of course we do. Think for a moment about the works in our genre that did so. Harry Potter. The Hunger Games. The variety of comics from Marvel and D.C. Sure, people sneer and call us “geeks” but the same people who persecute us are also tripping over themselves to get to the box office when the films adaptations are released. Steampunk, when you really think about it, is already mainstream as many of us have seen Disney’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea or even Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang.

Then something like Bieber’s steampunk video hits (and no, I’m not going to call it Bieberpunk, as I have strong issues with doing that…), and suddenly the asshats scream “The skyship is falling!” and pretty much make rest of us look like utter rubes.

But what really torques me is how websites, fans, and those SMOFs who have wanted to see steampunk fail are so quick to proclaim steampunk is dead.

Ben Love said it best on Pip’s Facebook:

“Steampunk survived The Wild, Wild West. It’s going to survive Bieber’s Christmas video.”

Why are we panicking here, and why oh why are we vilifying Bieber? Chances are, one of his “peeps” got wind of this “steampunk thing” and convinced Bieber that this was going to be the look for his Christmas movie-music video tie-in. Or maybe Bieber is a fan of steampunk. Maybe he said “Steam-what?” when the video was pitched to him. We will never know, but the video is what it is — it’s a pop star trying to be trendy. There’s nothing we can really do about it except admire the fact that Bieber was trying something different because he was told “this is the cool thing.”

Yeah, mull that over in your brain for a moment, because there is a good possibility that was how all this went down: Bieber was told steampunk is the “new, cool thing” so let’s make a steampunk video.

As for steampunk being dead, I’m going to lay down a safe bet these asshats haven’t seen Hugo.

This morning, someone on Facebook questioned my classification of Hugo as steampunk, but this film features an automaton, a child genius with a penchant for D.I.Y. projects, a hidden world within a Paris train station, and a filmmaker who — with no prior knowledge or experience with filmmaking — built his own camera and became a pioneer in cinema.

Ladies and gents, that’s steampunk.

Oh, and did I mention this film sports some brilliant performances from Sir Ben Kingsley, Jude Law, Helen McCrory, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Sacha Baron Cohen? And this film marks a break-out performance from Asa Butterfield…a performance that helped him hand the role of Ender in the upcoming Ender’s Game film?

So, asshats, I see your Bieber video and raise you with a mother fucking Scorsese film! Call!

To repeat what Jared had said earlier — Maybe steampunk wasn’t your thing after all, if you think it so fragile a thing that a holiday music video is going to tear it down. Steampunk is not only alive and well, I believe that Hugo has given it a delightful shot in the arm. As the asshats read this and salivate at citing its less-than-impressive numbers at the box office, allow me to read off a few acclaims it has already received within its first month in release:

• National Board of Review: Best Director
• National Board of Review: Best Film
• Rotten Tomatoes: 94%
• IMDB: 8.5 out of 10 stars

If you haven’t seen this steampunked homage to the history of cinema, just go. Stop reading this, book tickets, and go. (I’ll be here when you get back.) Pip and I saw it on a standard screen and are still raving about it the next day; so if you find it in 3D, you are in for an experience. After you watch Hugo, come back here and tell me steampunk is dead. Go on. I dare you.

Suck it, asshats. Steampunk is just getting warmed up.

This month, on Twitter, Facebook, on the podcast, and even at the official website of the Ministry, we’ve been talking up the recent accolade from the book readers’ social network, Goodreads. The first round was comprised of selections from Goodreads, based on activity and reviews. The second round included write-in nominations. Both were voted on by members of the Goodreads network.

Today, it’s official — Phoenix Rising is a Finalist for Best Science Fiction of 2011.

Goodreads and its community of readers have spoken and here is (by author, in alphabetical order) their Top Ten Best Science Fiction of 2011:

• Ann Aguirre, Aftermath
• Ilona Andrews, Silver Shark
• Pip Ballantine & Tee Morris, Phoenix Rising
• Earnest Cline, Ready Player One
• James S.A. Corey, Leviathan Wakes
• Hillary Jordan, When She Woke
• Stephen King, 11/22/63
• China Miéville, Embassytown
• Rob Thurman, Basilisk
• Daniel H. Wilson, Robopocalypse

Not only are we thrilled beyond reason that Phoenix Rising made it into the Top Ten of Goodreads’ Choice Awards, we are honored and a bit humbled that we are the only steampunk remaining for this award.

As it has been since the first round, we’re in the running alongside New York Times bestsellers, Hugo winners, and Nebula winners (oh yeah, and some guy named “King” whom, I understand, has written a few books in his day). Pip and I wanted to keep Phoenix Rising in the running, and you all made that happen. In our minds, this turkey has been cooked to perfection for Thanksgiving and we are so grateful for those of you showing support for us and for the title. Anything else, from this point, is gravy.

Did I ever mention how much I love gravy?

Between November 21 and November 30, the opportunity is there for the Ministry. If you haven’t voted yet and you have an account with Goodreads, please vote. We got to the Top Ten. We’ve won, as far as we are concerned.

Could we win the title of Best Science Fiction of 2011? Cast a vote and let’s find out.

There’s a real two-edged sword when it comes to honors and awards. I remember reading about the “importance of awards” when reading titles about getting published, grabbing an agent’s attention, and even marketing a book once it is out there. Across the board: Awards and distinctions help sell books. At least that is what the pros I was reading were telling me.

For a while, though, I’ve been giving awards a sideways glance. yeah, they’re nice and all; but did The Case of the Singing Sword go gangbusters when it won a Parsec? No, not really. Picked up a few more listeners, sure, but it didn’t really give Billi a boost in print sales. So, yeah, awards — nice, and it was very cool going home with that trophy…but I can write without them.

Then Pip and I won the Airship Award for Best Steampunk Literature of 2011. Regardless of what it did for Phoenix Rising sales, I won’t lie to you — it felt good. Really good. I mean, coming-in-from-playing-in-the-snow-and-having-Cream-of-Tomato-soup-with-a-bagutte-side good.

Then, two days before heading out west to Blogworld and ComiKaze Expo, we received word from Goodreads that Phoenix Rising had been short listed for Best Science Fiction of 2011.

At first I was just happy with the nod, but then I took a closer look at the company we were keeping:

• Stephen King
• Charlie Stross
• Sharon Lee & Steve Miller
• Robert J. Sawyer
• China Miéville
• John Scalzi

Then Pip and I noticed we were the only steampunk in the running for this distinction.

And then the ugly head that is my competitive streak reared back and asked “Hey, is that steak I smell on the grill?”

As cool as this honor already is, I’m keeping my feet firmly on the ground. We’re in the running with Hugo winners, Nebula winners, New York Times bestsellers, and a guy who is considered one of the most prolific authors of our day; so the plan is not to take the title. Pip and I just want to keep Phoenix Rising in the running.

Last week was simply the first round of voting. Here’s the breakdown in how Goodreads runs their competition:

• Opening Round: October 31 – November 13, 2011
  Voting open to 15 official nominees, and write-in votes can be placed for any eligible book. (That’s what’s happening now.)
• Semifinals: November 14 – November 20, 2011
  The top 5 write-in votes in each category become official nominees. You can vote for one of the now 20 nominees in each category. Additional write-ins no longer accepted.
• Finals: November 21 – November 30, 2011
  The field narrows to the top 10 books in each category, and you have one last chance to vote.

So if you haven’t voted yet, and you have an account with Goodreads, please vote. We want to get the sole steampunk nominee of 2011 to the Finals. Top Ten. That’s our goal. Don’t mistake — we are thrilled to make such a fantastic list of authors. We just want to keep the momentum going.

We are not intending to turn our feeds into something spamalicious, rest assured; but you can expect to see:

2011 Goodreads Choice Awards: Best Best Science Fiction Vote now for your favorite books!

• At least a few tweets from Books & Braun asking for your vote
• Facebook posts, asking for your vote
• Widgets here and at The Ministry…and yeah, go on and post your own widget for us, if you like…
• And perhaps, a quick blogpost reminding you of deadlines and where we stand

As they say in Pip’s ol’ stomping grounds, “Top Ten would really be choice, bro.” So please, take a moment to vote. If you have already, ask folks in your Goodreads network to show some love to the Ministry.

Let see if, together, we can bring the boilers to full and keep a steampunk title in the running.

With only a few days remaining until FenCon, Pip and I are planning furiously for what is promising to be a really fun weekend of panels, podcasting, and steampunk. We owe a special thanks to Matt Bowerman for being our location scout for our own “kickoff celebration.” If you’re in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area on this Friday at 8 p.m., we are hosting a Texas tweetup — steampunk style — at Spring Creek BBQ.

For non-FenCon attendees, it a chance to hang. For FenCon attendees, the restaurant is just five blocks north of the hotel. Pip has made an event page live on Facebook (please RSVP there), but here are a few extra details…

TIME: Friday, September 23, 8:00 p.m.
ADDRESS: 14941 Midway Road, Addison TX
MENU AND INFO: www.springcreekbarbeque.com

We are also planning to wear our steampunk gear for the tweetup! Ladies, strap into your favorite corsets. Gents, wear your best bowlers (or, if you’re doing the Wild, Weird West, your sharpest ten gallon hat)! It’s time to gear up, chow down, and jump into a good time in Texas! Pip and I hope to see you there!

First, I want to give a huge shout-out to Stephanie Kim, Assistant Publicist at Harper Collins. She has made this happen along with the crew of New York ComicCon, and with i’s dotted and t’s crossed I am now here with the details on what will be happening in the Big Apple this October!

DATE: Friday, October 14
PANEL: Steampunk in Comics and Literature

TIME: 9:00PM-10:00PM
LOCATION: 1A01

Steampunk traces its origins back to the science fiction of the 19th century, and the term itself was coined to describe a genre of Victorian sci-fi being written by modern authors. At the same time,  steampunk and Victorian industrial age aesthetics have long held a  great fascination for comic and manga artists of various backgrounds.

This panel will discuss steampunk as a literary and artistic genre,  examining steampunk’s literary origins and early examples of steampunk  in comic book medium, as well as modern examples from both mediums  such as Jay Lake’s Mainspring, G. D. Falksen’s Blood In The Skies,  Alan Moore’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Girl Genius by Phil and Kaja Foglio. The panel will also feature first looks at upcoming titles and give aways from leading publishers such as  Wildside Press, Orbit Books, and Yen Press.

I still have no idea who I will be on the panel with, save for one. It is with great pride, joy, and pleasure to let you know that the one and only Jared Axelrod, one of the creative powerhouses behind Fables of the Flying City, will be joining me. Not only does this make my first NYCC experience that more exciting, I feel my fear factor calming ever so slightly. I’ve gotten my steam on with Jared at Balticon (with Pip Ballantine, too, actually) so I am looking forward to what will be happening on this panel!

And as for Pip…she’s running with the big dogs.

DATE: Saturday, October 15
PANEL: Winter Is Here: Epic Fantasy Takes the Throne

TIME: 6:30PM-7:30PM
LOCATION: 1A15

Long a staple of the SF/F genre, epic fantasy is poised to take a coup over the bestseller lists, thanks in part to HBO’s fantastically popular series based upon George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones novel.  This summer saw signing lines hundreds of readers deep (luckily none with swords in hand) for #1 New York Times bestselling author Patrick Rothfuss’ American appearance.  Now, in a special spotlight session exclusive to New York Comic Con, we pair internationally bestselling author Brandon Sanderson, Peter Brett, Phillipa Ballantine and epic fantasy debut authors Rae Carson, David Chandler and Nils Johnson-Shelton talk about why swords and sorcerers, king-makers and kingslayers; dragons and high drama have renewed resonance in fiction.

She running with a crew here, and I am thrilled to see Pip in said company. I have no doubt she will leave an impression and do the Deacons of The Order proud.

Mark your calendars and say “hi” if you’re in the Big Apple that weekend. We are counting down to this big step forward.

When Pip and I first got the email from Harper Voyager asking if we would be interested in speaking at ComicCon, I thought it was a longshot. We’re talking about ComicCon, right? The East Coast’s biggest popular culture convention. This weekend is two Dragon*Cons in one convention center. The show floor plays hosts a who’s who of comics, graphic novels, anime, manga, video games, toys, and media. The panel, autograph sessions, and screenings feature all feature A-Listers of Hollywood and Geek Culture.

And they want us to speak on a panel?

We were asked to wait to go into detail, and today we were given a green light.Turns out I was wrong.

New York Comic Con 2011 wants us to speak on two panels. And have a signing session.

Ummm….okay.

To give you an idea of just how big of a deal this is (and how utterly freaked out and excited we are), New York Comic Con attracted over 96,000 attendees in 2010, making this weekend the second largest comic book and pop culture gathering in the country. (And I think the only event bigger than this one…yeah, it’s in San Diego…two guesses what it is…) Pip has been invited to speak on the panel “Winter is Coming: The Return of High Fantasy” while I will be speaking on “Steampunk in Comics and Literature.” More details on the when’s and where’s, as well as the time for our first Comic Con signing, we will be a part of will appear on this blog and on our respective Facebook groups.

We are thrilled, terrified, excited, and over-the-moon…and I hope to see you there when I take that first step into a (much) larger world…

So, this eBook thing. It’s been a trip.

We’ve not been at it for very long, but Pip and I have learned a lot. The biggest thing is that Smashwords’ “Meat Grinder” (the one-stop online application that creates a multitude of formats) can be a fussy, fickled wench. And sure, it’s great to handle all the other formats, but imagine our surprise when we were being asked by Nook users “Why are you using Smashwords? Why not use PubIt?”

And we responded with “Yeah, why not?”
Now, after a whopping half-an-hour for set-up, the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences is making their first round of short stories available for the Nook as well as the Kindle. Here is the complete list of the Ministry’s 99-Penny Dreadfuls, ready for both devices:

• The Evil that Befell Sampson, written by Philippa Ballantine
  Amazon –Nook
• Dust on the Davenport, written by O.M. Grey
  Amazon – Nook
• The Astonishing Amulet of Amernatas, written by Nathan Lowell
  Amazon – Nook
• A Ruby in Rain, written by Grant Stone
  Amazon – Nook
• Darkest before the Darkwater, written by ME!
  Amazon – Nook

As I mentioned in my previous post, you should expect more Ministry shorts coming from both Pip and myself. Some will be podcast in the 2012 for Tales from the Archives: Volume 2, but many will be available only as eBooks.

For those of you enjoying your digital short fiction on iPad, eReader, and other devices, we will continue working with Smashwords and all its quirks. Don’t mistake — Smashwords does make it easy. Amazon and Barnes & Noble, however, are making delivery a touch faster.

Thank you, everyone, who have already invested in our 99-Penny Dreadfuls. We hope you keep coming back for more! Please, do leave us reviews on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com for our short story offerings, and tell a friend curious about steampunk to give our short stories a spin. Who knows — your 99¢ suggestion might lead them straight to an exciting steampunk adventure. Available for both the Kindle and the Nook

As you may have noticed, in the midst of edits for Of Cogs & Corsets, planning the trip to FenCon in September, and launching a brand new podcast (more on that later), I have decided to finally upgrade my blog to Thesis. So please, mind the dust and ever-growing changes as I try to get this site into some kind of order.

A lot is going on with me right now, hence the lack of blogposts here. Right now, one of the biggest developments for me as a writer (and now, I guess, independent publisher?) is my jump into the digital arena.

Well more like push. Between Pip and Laurie, they both got sick of me waiting at the end of the high dive.

Of course, digital publishing is nothing new to me, if you consider the Tales from the Archives podcast and my previous podiobooks as digital (audio) publications; but it’s a fact that not everyone listens to podcast fiction. Some still prefer to physically read what I write, and I’m more than okay with that. So with Pip working the fu at Smashwords and Amazon, we’re releasing 99¢ short stories, and I’ve got two on the market with more to come.

My Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences’ short story “Darkest before the Darkwater” just went live yesterday on the podcast, but I pre-released it as one of the Ministry’s 99-Penny Dreadfuls. “Darkest before the Darkwater” along with providing a look into the world of the Ministry is also a preview of my current work in progress. You might recognize the protagonist, and get an idea of what direction I’m intending to take him in this reboot of MOREVI. You can be assured there will be more Ministry shorts will come out from both Pip and myself, and some might even make it to our future 2012 project, Tales from the Archives: Volume 2.

If you’re wanting something steamier than my steampunk, you’re in luck as Pip’s releasing her Erotica ala Carte short stories as eBooks. She’s including in her first wave of erotica my superhero short, “Release Me.”  My other Erotica ala Carte offering “Dagger of the Mind” is slated for sometime in the future, but the release on that is entirely Pip’s call.

For those of you enjoying your digital short fiction on iPad and Nook, Smashwords is catching up with our releases, so stick close to either my blog or Pip’s, and we’ll keep you in the loop on what we release and when it is available.

If you are curious as to why we are releasing our stories 99¢ at a time as opposed to anthologies, I think you might want to have a listen to a new podcast Pip and I have just started. It’s called The Shared Desk, a blending of Pip’s Whispers at the Edge with my blast-from-the-past The Survival Guide to Writing Fantasy. We’ve been wanting to do a writing podcast for a few months now, and finally we sat down and fired up the mics. If you have a listen share your thoughts (and questions) with us on that blog or on the show’s voice mail.

So yes, I’m still out here, being productive. Maybe this weekend, with that extra day and no Dragon*Con, I might just get another blogpost or two in the hopper. Much like a podcast, it always feels good to get a blogpost out.

Next week, at this time, I will be kicking off a few days of panel appearances at Renovation: the 69^th Annual World Science Fiction Convention in lovely Reno, Nevada. If you are out west for the extended weekend, here is where I will be appearing during the weekend:

• Social Media for Writers (moderating), Fri 11:00 – 12:00, A03 (RSCC)
• Introduction to Steampunk: What Is Steampunk and Why Is it so Popular? (moderating), Fri 13:00 – 14:00, A13 (RSCC)
• Writers Collaboration Panel, Sat 11:00 – 12:00, D05 (RSCC)
• Steampunk versus Alternate History (moderating) , Sat 13:00 – 14:00, D03 (RSCC)
• Autographing: Sat 14:00 (with Pip Ballantine) , Sat 14:00 – 15:00, Hall 2 Autographs (RSCC)
• KaffeeKlatsch: Sat 17:00 (with Pip Ballantine), Sat 17:00 – 18:00, KK1 (RSCC)

Saturday night may very well be an all-nighter for Pip and myself as we are scheduled for an early Sunday flight out of Reno (the only flight we could get out of Reno that returned us to DC at a decent time…), but grab us anytime between Thursday and Saturday as we will be there at WorldCon!

So, I’m all rested up and recovered from an amazing weekend at the Steampunk World’s Fair (review in the works). What’s next?

Why, another con appearance, of course…

Concluding The Ministry MAY-hem Tour (at least, this part of it) is an old favorite of mine — BALTICON. It was nearly ten years ago when I first arrived at this event with Morevi.  I looked something like this back then…

This was before the time of facial hair, before the days of podcasting, before the days of Facebook, Twitter, and Social Media. Right now, I’d love to go up to that guy and say “You have no idea what’s in store for you, bro.”

What a long strange trip it has been. And with the premiere of Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel, it may just get a wee-bit stranger at Balticon 45 as tea parties, time traveling dances, rock-and-roll courtesy of Ditched by Kate, and panels-panels-panels are all in store! Here’s my schedule for the next few days…

FRIDAY
New Independent Voices in New Media — 6:00pm, Chesapeake
(New Media GoH, Pip Ballantine will be taking my place on the “Alien Sex: What Could Go Wrong?” panel at 9:00pm)

SATURDAY
The Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Tea Party & Book Launch — 3:00 pm, Chesapeake

REMINDER: At the Ministry tea party we are giving away prizes, including a Catherinette steampunk ring AND a Dr. Grordbort signet ring. Constellation Books will be there to sell books, and we will provide tea and cookies!

Antigone’s Wrath LIVE — 4:00pm, Salon D
Low Budget Filmmaking — 9:00pm, Chesapeake

SUNDAY
Metamor City LIVE — 5:00pm, Chesapeake
The Time Traveler’s Ball (serving as DeeJay PirateBoy) — 10pm-1am, Garden Suite

MONDAY
Networking Vs. Platform — 10:00am, Salon C
The Shrinking Man Project LIVE — 1:00pm, Derby

The schedule is subject to change (in case of invites to join other panels), but now you know where to find both Pip Ballantine and myself. Don’t be a stranger — say hi, buy a book, and get your geek on at Balticon!

Yes, it has been a little quiet on my blog…but that doesn’t mean I’ve been standing still.

Our first steampunk exposition, The Steampunk World’s Fair in Somerset, New Jersey, is happening this week; and they are making us feel welcome! The guest list is mind-blowing, and yet we — the steampunk rookies — make their Lovecraftian promotional poster.

I think this is a sign of a FUN weekend ahead!

Both Pip and I will be there as part of “Ministry MAY-hem” and there are more details about the weekend to be found at the Ministry website. Track the weekend on Twitter by following the #SPWF hashtag.

We hope to see you this weekend as we get our steampunk funk on!

While putting together The Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences blog and hopping around from steampunk site to steampunk site, I noticed a similar page at current online resources that Pip and I needed for our own. I also thought this would be a nice kick-off for the blog tour that we will be undertaking between now and May to promote Phoenix Rising, a post that begins with the basics: What is Steampunk?

Depending on which website you visit, be it the Wikipedia entry (featuring our good friend and creative talent, Jared Axelrod in this photo by Kyle Cassidy, licensed under Creative Commons 3.0) or Steampunk.com, you will get a variety of answers and interpretations to this creative movement that has been growing in popularity, but also capturing mainstream curiosity.

So I put together for the Ministry a page that gave several descriptions of what we thought constitutes steampunk. So, when you hear me talk about it and you still remain curious as to what it is, I present an “elevator pitch” to start off with, eventually work up to the “deep dive” that not only touches on the foundations of the genre, but even touches on the debate making rounds online and at the cons.

The Elevator Pitch

Steampunk is modern technology—iPads, computers, robotics, air travel—powered by steam and set in the 1800’s.

This is as brief and as compact a description you can give people when wondering what steampunk is. Perhaps the most mainstream point of reference would be the episode “Punked” from ABC’s popular crime drama, Castle (seen above, with Nathan Fillion featuring an armoured forearm creation from Brute Force Studios).

A Few More Details, if you please…

Steampunk is an inspired movement of creativity and imagination. With a backdrop of either Victorian England or America’s Wild West at hand, modern technologies are re-imagined and realized as elaborate works of art, fashion, and mechanics. If Jules Verne or H.G. Wells were writing their science fiction today, it would be considered “steampunk.”

So if you want to know more after “the elevator pitch” this brief summary names two of steampunk’s most revered heroes, Jules Verne and H.G. Wells (pictured above). While Verne and Wells are regarded as part of the foundation of Science Fiction, they would be listed as steampunk authors if they were writing their works today.

The Deep Dive…20,000 Leagues or so…

If you are reading this, you want more. So, here we go…

The term “Steampunk” originated in the late 1980s with a cheeky letter to Locus Magazine from science fiction author K. W. Jeter. Jeter was trying to find an accurate description of works by himself (Morlock Night), Tim Powers (The Anubis Gates), and James Blaylock (Homunculus). While Jeter coined the word, it was William Gibson and Bruce Sterling that brought the genre attention with the book The Difference Engine (1992). Best known for their offerings in cyberpunk, Gibson and Sterling took their intimate integration of man and machine back to 1885. In this alternative Industrial Revolution, Charles Babbage’s Difference Engine is not merely a curiosity but the norm, and now his Analytical Engine comes to fruition. The book centers around the struggle between the working class Luddites (who fear technology) and the upper-class “enhanced” elite.

Over the years, steampunk has evolved into more than just a sub-genre of Science Fiction and Fantasy. Steampunk now extends into fashion, engineering, music, and for some, a lifestyle. With the Victorian British Empire or American Wild West as the backdrop, steampunk projects are a challenge of making something elegant out of random bits and bobs. Picture MacGyver or The A-Team in the 1800’s. Consider Dick Van Dyke’s Caractacus Potts and his creations in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or the ingenious contraptions from Artimus Gordon’s laboratory in the television show The Wild, Wild West. What others see as junk or scrap parts, steampunk artists transform it into something new and expressive, be it an original creation or a modification of a modern convenience.

Where exactly does the “punk” come into play?

A current debate amongst writers is that the growing commercialism over the genre has diluted the “punk” aspect of steampunk. Their argument is that steampunk has been reduced to a backdrop of romantic Victoriana, goggles, and brass fixtures. Instead of works like The Difference Engine, The Diamond Age, and The Windup Girl where social commentary and dystopia are the focus, the grittiness and edge of steampunk is merely a shiny, spiffy backdrop as seen in lighter works such as Soulless and Girl Genius.

Steampunk, at least the way Pip and I see it, gets its “punk” not in its dystopian view of the world or even in its gritty edge. The “punk” in “Steampunk” comes from going against convention that, through creativity and declaration of one’s individuality be it through style, gadgets, or attitude, sets one apart. In our own work, the “punk” is embodied in Eliza D. Braun, an agent from New Zealand. Coming from the farthest reaches of the Empire where women have the right to vote, where the natives co-exist with the colonials, and where everyone speaks their mind frankly and honestly, she goes against the standard norms at the home office in London, England. She is paired up with Wellington Thornhill Books, Esquire, a man of the manor born now serving at the Queen’s pleasure. She is everything he is not, and vice versa; and it is their chemistry and unorthodox approach to peculiar occurrences that make them unique within a society based on conformity.

All this, and they’re having a smashing good time while doing it. Well, at least, Eliza is.

Perhaps the best published primer for understanding steampunk, we found, is the unassuming title Steampunk Style Jewelry by Jean Campbell. Along with Amazon.com, you can find this book at your local Michael’s or arts-and-crafts store. As expected, there are plenty of how-to projects, but you will also find columns by musicians, artists, and seamstresses on what steampunk is. The photography in this book is also quite stunning.

And, of course, if you want to experience just how much fun steampunk can be, take a look at Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel, from Harper Voyager.

[WARNING: While this review does not contain spoilers, the Comments do. You have been warned. Now...read on...]

Director and Writer Zack Snyder can really make a beautiful movie. Snyder set his own style with films like 300 and Watchmen, but has also come under fire for making movies that lack depth or are very “comic book” in their almost balletic approach to graphic violence. When you consider his last two films were pulling from (wait for it!) graphic novels, it makes you want to bitch slap critics. Perhaps this is why critics (and perhaps, some moviegoers) have been overly critical of Snyder’s latest film, Sucker Punch.

On reading some of these reviews, though, I have to ask “Did you see the same film as I did?” I not only loved Sucker Punch, I am here to tell you that missing this on the big screen would be a crime. It is original. It is surprising. It is intelligent.

What is isn’t is what the critics are making it out to be: Geekboy Titillation.

Now there’s no denying it: Snyder covers all of the bases in this flick. Sucker Punch offers up zombies, steampunk, dragons,  WWII bombers, and katana swordfights. And yes, all of the gunfire and swordplay is happening with women who all just happen to be hot.

Quite hot.

Smoking hot, as a matter of fact.

But the titillation critics rant on and on about just isn’t there. I didn’t find anything really “stimulating” about Sucker Punch unless you count the alternate realities where our femme fatales are kicking surrealistic asses in a variety of ways. Snyder’s signature “artistic action” sequences could hardly be described as “erotic” in their video game brutality. (And the more I think about that, the more I come to understand why Snyder’s fantasy sequences are so epic. You have to see the movie to catch it.) An episode of Sailor Moon or Bubblegum Crisis has more titillation than Sucker Punch. What should be titillating — Baby Doll’s hypnotic dance that segues into her own imagination — we never see. All we see is the reaction to it, and that is really intriguing.

Before any of my female readers comment with “If this isn’t geekboy pr0n, why then are Sucker Punch’s insanely attractive women so scantily clad in the action sequences? I mean, where’s the realism? What’s with the high heels in the giant samurai sequence?” I would like to present a few visual aids to end this debate.

History tell us that this is Sparta:Frank Miller and Zack Snyder, on the other hand, tells us that  THIS — IS — SPARTA:

This just in from Zack Snyder: “You’re welcome, ladies.”

Critics have also been making references that the principle players as “happy hookers” and “sensitive strippers.” Both of these assessments are completely and utterly wrong, and ruin the subtext running through this film. While these girls are carrying stripper names like “Rocket,” “Sweet Pea,” and “Baby Doll” (the lead), and while they are exotic dancers performing extravagant burlesque productions, they are not hookers nor are they strippers. And they’re not “happy” by a longshot. They’re sex slaves.

Let me say that again: These girls are sex slaves.

When you accept that uncomfortable fact, the whole mood of Sucker Punch changes; but from the opening — a very bleak, powerful opening telling the backstory of Baby Doll’s arrival to the insane asylum — this movie makes it clear that this is not a fun ride we are undertaking. This is the kind of darkness that makes Synder’s Watchmen look like an episode of Super Friends (the first season with Marv and Wendy…who were those kids anyway?!), and adds a sense of desperation for the girls daring to escape. Calling them “hookers/strippers with hearts of gold” really could not be farther from these characters’ dismal collected truth.

And when you consider the reality that Baby Doll is truly escaping, this tale takes an even darker spin.

That’s where I nurture a growing respect for Sucker Punch: it’s amazing layer-like quality and intelligence. Sucker Punch keeps you guessing as to where the lines of reality reside. Perhaps this is another reason why critics are coming out hard against this movie: Snyder made a geeky action movie that you have to pay attention to when watching it. This is a tale of redemption, and the lines of what is real and what isn’t are blurred just enough that when you walk out of the film, you are trying to piece together what was real and what wasn’t. Giving away any details right now would be spoilerific so I will simply say the ending completely caught me off-guard. How things play in the finale, which you discover isn’t the finale you were expecting, are a complete and utter surprise.

Perhaps this is why critics are so “angry” about Sucker Punch: They didn’t see this coming. But isn’t that the title right there? I was waiting for this movie to jump the rails. Pip was, too. It’s the morning after and I’m still waiting! Sucker Punch was not even close to what I was expecting, and I loved experiencing it on the IMAX big screen.

And concerning Sucker Punch’s soundtrack, I rank it right up there with the music from Scott Pilgrim Versus The World. Sweet crapbuckets, did this soundtrack ever rock! Props to Snyder, Tyler Bates, and producers for coming up with some fantastic covers and a Queen mash-up that gave me goosebumps!

In the age of reboots, remakes, and comic book movies, Sucker Punch is a breath of fresh air and originality, along the same lines as Inception and Black Swan. Dismiss the critics on this one, and go see it. If you can catch it on IMAX, do so as the bigger screen just makes Snyder’s composition — even the ones based in reality — breathtaking. You may be pleasantly surprised. You might walk out wondering what the hell you’ve seen, but you will be talking about it. Consider the tagline: “You will be unprepared.”

I was. Delightfully so.

Pranks. Rope-a-Dope Tweets. Misinformation. I’m not the biggest fan of April Fool’s Day. Never have been. I don’t like practical joke played upon me and playing them on others I’m not too crazy about. (One of many reasons a particular joke a few years back pulled on me jumped the shark. Seriously. They aren’t my thing.) Yes, I hate April Fool’s Day.

I hate April 1 even more as one of my best friends, Joe Murphy, passed away on this day in 2007.

For those of you new to podcasting, you might have missed the wit of my friend, Joe Murphy. He was (and still is) an amazing guy, his voice now part of the history of such podcasts, as Wingin’ It, Slice of SciFi, The Kick Ass Mystic Ninjas, and the award-winning The Case of the Singing Sword: A Billibub Baddings Mystery. He was taken from us too soon, and on April 1 I remember him.

I got to see Joe a month before he died, and it was hard. He was sick. He didn’t sugar coat his condition though, and that was Joe in a nutshell — he never pulled his punches. He never held back an opinion. He also never came across as cynical or bitter. At least, not to me. Joe had a smile that can turn around a bad day, and he always gave you an honest opinion that you could grow from. He was an amazing guy, and I miss him terribly.

On April 1, I remember my friend, Joe, in memories like the one I have posted above. I remember his banter against Michael, Evo, and the crew of the original Wingin’ It. I remember his loyalty. I remember how he pushed me to be a better writer, and a better person. This year, I’m also remembering Joe by retiring the yearly tribute podcast I post.

Why?

Since 2007, Jack Mangan and I have asked that you remember our fallen friend, Joe Murphy, by syndicating a tribute I put together just after his death. This year, as I was reminding myself I needed to report it, I felt as if I heard my friend say to me, “Tee, come on, you’ve made your point. Can we move on please?”

Yeah, that was Joe. He believed in friendship, and he believed in paying tribute, sure; but he wouldn’t want people to dwell. I don’t think he would have wanted Jack and I to dwell. So this is how I remember Joe. The above image is a memory of friendship that I want to share with you all; and if you have such a memory to share of Joe, please do so on your own network. But if you didn’t know Joe, post a moment — a particular blink in your own personal history — that embodies friendship. This is what today should be: a celebration of friendship and a tribute to those lost.

I’m Tee Morris. I’m a blogger, podcaster, and writer. And I remember Joe.

Hey, everyone!

Just in case you missed the big launch last week, Pip and I premiered Tales from the Archives,  a collection of short stories from the Victorian England of The Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences. With original theme music composed and created by Alex White, we are featuring original steampunk short stories from…

• P.C. Haring of Cybrosis
• Starla Huchton of The Dreamer’s Thread
• Helen H. Madden of Heat Flash
• Phil Rossi of Eden and Harvey
• Chooch Schubert of Chronicles of the Order:“The Destruction of Station One”
• Jack Mangan author of Spherical Tomi
• Nathan Lowell of Trader’s Tales: The Golden Age of the Solar Clipper
• Valerie Griswold-Ford of The Apocalypse Cycle
• Grant Stone, Sir Julius Vogel winner for numerous short stories

Last week, Pip kicked things off with “The Evil that Befell Samson” and this week we present the supernatural steampunk “Dust on the Davenport” by author O.M. Grey.

Agent Simon R. Boswell, still considered the green agent of the Ministry, takes on his own a supposed haunting in Islington. Hauntings tend to be nothing too serious for agents specializing in the unexplained; but for Simon, this case supplies surprises of all kinds, around every corner…

About the Author:

O. M. Grey is rather camera shy and is a complete novice when it comes to modern technology. She prefers to live in the cobwebbed corners of her dark mind writing paranormal romance with a Steampunk twist. When she’s not writing, she’s reading or tending the garden or drinking a hot cup of tea. (Just two drops, please.)

O.M. Grey’s Avalon Revisited is released by Blue Moose Press and available from Amazon.com (print and Kindle), Barnes and Noble (print and Nook ), and the iBook Store. Find out more about the author at omgrey.wordpress.com.

Featured Voice Talent (in order of appearance):

• Paul E. Cooley
• Tee Morris
• Philippa Ballantine

Theme music for the Ministry composed and created by Alex White.

You can subscribe to Tales from the Archives on iTunes (and leave us a review there), or with your podcatcher of choice at the Ministry website. If you hear a short story you particularly like, go on and feel free to syndicate it on your own blog or podcast. Thanks for listening!

Social Media carpetbaggers (as I call them here, and I’m liking the term the more I use it) would challenge me on many of my work beliefs and ethics, two of which that have been brought to light just this month:

• You can’t make a viral video. They just happen.
• There is such a thing as bad publicity.

I have seen this as a topic on many a conference track — “How to Make Your Videos Viral!” or some such nonsense — and I also get the “Let’s make a viral video…” request a lot from my day job. After my skin stops crawling, I pull no punches and speak the best-kept-secret truth that the carpetbaggers won’t admit: you can’t make a viral video. A video goes viral due to traffic on social networks increasing awareness (of a product, person, or cause), and through self-replicating processes that gain momentum on both the Internet and mainstream media.

Did you catch that “self-replicating” part? That’s key. No one can make self-replication happen. You can promote a video, sure, but that does not necessarily guarantee it going viral.  The constant thread (if there is one) is luck. Good or bad, it comes down to luck. You can’t predict it. You can’t produce it. You never know what will strike that nerve. Viral videos just happen.

And in the case of Rebecca Black, that is exactly what happened. What two comedians referenced off-handedly has now become 2011’s viral sensation.

If you are missing the hubbub, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” has become the new benchmark for viral video success. On March 1, it sported a modest few thousand viewings; but with two snarky quips from Mystery Science Theatre 3000’s Mike Nelson and Comedy Central’s Daniel Tosh, it broke ten million within two weeks.

How could this have happened? As it is when someone asks me “What makes a video go viral?” my answer is “I don’t know.” After writing up this blogpost, I still don’t know…

…but I do have a few opinions on what helped it along.

The production, or cookie-cutter thereof. When synthesizers with accompanying “Oooh’s” and “Yeah-yeah’s” kick in at the start, you know exactly what you’re going to get. The look and the feel of the video is much like the song itself: processed. So are  Black’s vocal abilities which has been Auto-Tuned within an inch of perfect-pitch. Provided you can make it to the end, this Ark Music Factory production comes across as a Hannah Montana video…that didn’t make Disney’s final cut and therefore tabled for a later project. (Maybe a lost video reel or some such.)

Songwriting: Twitter Style. I read a YouTube comment that called the song “Twitter: The Musical.”

I wish I could say, as a Twitter user, I was insulted; but damn, that’s funny.

Writers Clarence Jey and Patrice Wilson penned lyrics that are…

…

…

Well, they…

…

I got nothing. So here’s a sample:

“Fun, fun, think about fun / You know what it is / I got this, you got this / My friend is by my right / I got this, you got this / Now you know it.”

Maybe I’m old, but no, I don’t know it. I have no clue what “it” is. Seriously, what have I got and what have you got, and if the girl to the right of you is your friend, who’s the chick on your left? Is she another BFF or is she a right bitch?

Not all the lyrics in “Friday” are this cryptic. Some do make sense:

“Yesterday was Thursday / Today is Friday / We so excited / We gonna have a ball today / Tomorrow is Saturday / And Sunday comes afterwards.”

Umm…yeah…

It ain’t Billy Joel, is it?

The jury is still out on whether Rebecca Black herself is the next Rachel Berry as the audio’s post-production completely masks her vocal ability. I would hazard a guess the Ark Music Factory assures “quality” by running all their clients through Auto-Tune. (What’s good for the pop talent of today is good for the pop talent of tomorrow, right?) It is evident from her first interview that she wouldn’t say no to becoming the next YouTube discovery. She balked at Ark Factory’s offer to pull the video down. “I decided not to give the haters the satisfaction that they got me so bad I gave up,” Black told The Daily Beast. I admire the 13-year old’s conviction, particularly in light of the video’s feedback.

And here’s where my second point is proven.

As reported by CNN, Mashable, and other news outlets, this “overnight notoriety” is less about Rebecca Black destined to become the next Justin Bieber and more about how Rebecca Black is destined to become the next Ghyslain Raza.

Who is Ghyslain Raza? You might know him by his other moniker: The Star Wars Kid. You know, the geeky high school kid who filmed himself wielding a golf ball retriever as a two-edged lightsaber?

Yeah. That guy.

There is such a thing as bad publicity and Black is harvesting it like a finely Auto-Tuned combine. Black’s newfound fame, when you read the comments and commentary, is not about her impressive vocal range rivaling that of Susan Boyle (a YouTube sensation herself) but more about the appalling nature of this video. Even Nelson and Tosh were very strategic in what they mocked — the song, not Black herself.

Where this backlash gets uncomfortable is when, in pursuit of being clever, the feedback gets personal. Rolling Stone’s recent column, tongue-in-cheek as it was, was titled “Why Rebecca Black is a Demon-Wizard Child Piper.” I’ll admit — I chuckled at the title, but then wished it had had been called something else. Maybe “Why Rebecca Black’s Friday is a Sign of the Rise of the Machines” would have worked as well? The unabashed cruelty directed at Black is unwarranted, but that doesn’t mean the song and video are open game (which was the intent of the RS article). For their own $2000 investment, Black’s parents should be outraged that the song lyrics hadn’t been given a proper grammar check.

Concerning Black’s parents — that gets the “Dad” side of me a little fired up. Maybe this is “sideline parenting” at its finest, but I find myself constantly swapping out Black and her parents with (an older) Sonic Boom and myself, asking myself “What would I do?” As a parent, I would have never approved this video. It’s wrong on a lot of levels, but the most disturbing one — as a few critics have pointed out —is the full-grown adult riffing about a 13-year-old’s quest to party. His rap break goes like this:

“R-B, Rebecca Black / So chillin’ in the front seat / In the back seat / I’m drivin’, cruisin’ / Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes / Wit’ a car up on my side / Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me / Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream / Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend / We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all”

Anyone else find this attempt at “suburbia street cred” a little creepy?

Before anyone plays the “What about Ludicrous and his rap break in Bieber’s ‘Baby’ song?” card, note Bieber’s lyrics. “Baby” is a pop song about first loves, so at least Ludicrous and Justin can see eye-to-eye there.

But this guy? Switching lanes and screaming at school busses? I’m now wondering if he’s the guy wearing a trenchcoat on sunny days at the playground.

Another call that screams for “parental intervention” is Black’s desire “to show people there’s more to me than they think” by recording an acoustic version of “Friday.” Again, maybe this is my background taking notice, but an acoustic version of a crap song isn’t going to make it a better song. An acoustic version of “Friday” would be the equivalent of releasing a leather bound, gold leaf hardback edition of The Eye of Argon or a limited edition Blu-Ray of Battlefield: Earth.

While I will slam the song, the video, and Ark Music Factory (I have a past experience with a “talent mill” like this. True bottom feeders of the entertainment industry.), I would never think of slamming Black as some trolls out there have chosen to do. Throwing insults at a 13-year old girl, who probably had no idea what she was getting into, is never cool. The backlash against her is cruel and unfair, and I can only hope she is able — with the right people behind her — to turn this around.

What is happening here is the other side of viral videos that no one can prepare for: overwhelmingly negative criticism. This time, the “viral success” is less about fame and more about infamy, but how much of this can you really call a success?

For me, no matter how trivial or professional the posting, I strive to produce quality content. With my own upcoming video project coming up very soon, I’d like to think the video would go viral based on its worth, its creativity, and its sense of fun. I’m keeping it simple, and I’ll be able to step back and look at the final work with pride.

But can I promise you it will go viral? No, I can’t.

What I can promise you, though, is my offing will be completely and utterly Auto-Tone free.

In another posting on being business savvy when it comes to a writing career, I wanted to talk a bit about a con-related chat that came up between Jean Orrico and myself. Jean, as you might know, is my agent for a writing workshop I teach with Lani Tupu. Lani, as many of you should know, is the uber-talented, multi-faceted actor and artist, best known for his work as Crais and the voice of pilot in (my favorite Science Fiction television series) Farscape. Usually I bump into Jean (always a pleasure) and we either talk smack to one another (much to the delight of Lani), talk shop, or she berates me for “taking too damn long on a Morevi sequel.”

Hopefully, she will still be talking to me after my blogpost concerning that.

Jean asked me recently if I was coming to Dragon*Con this year. Now, if you’ve missed the hundreds—no, wait, the thousands—no, wait, tens of thousands—of write-up’s, video, pictures, tweets, and podcasts about this particular event, let me bring you up to speed on Dragon*Con. If there were a Mardi Gras for geeks, this would be it. Held in Atlanta every Labor Day weekend, Dragon*Con is a fan-run (as in volunteer, and God bless every one of those volunteers who step up to make this happen!) convention that must be experienced at least once. It is an epic four-day weekend with media stars, podcasters, writers, artists, and costumes, costumes, costumes. Along with Jean, a few other friends and fans have asked me if I and Pip will be in attendance this year. When we say “no” people look a little disappointed, but trust us — we have very good reasons for passing on Dragon*Con.

One reason — Pip and I are headed to WorldCon 69/Renovation, held in Reno, Nevada, this year.

If you go back to my in-depth look at the cost of cons, I revealed that for one of these events roughly totaled $600-700 per con. Dragon*Con and WorldCon are different beasts all together. After you factor in the cost of travel, hotel, and any other expenses (aside from shopping), Dragon*Con and WorldCon are triple that amount.

No kidding. Triple. How? First, both events last longer than a simple weekend. Dragon*Con offers limited programming on Thursday while WorldCon kicks off programming on Wednesday night. Both events wrap up on Monday. When attending large events like this, it is a good idea, to get there the day before and leave the day after, just to beat both rushes. This puts you in a hotel for nearly a week.

Then there’s the travel. Driving to Dragon*Con (for us) would mean filling the tank at least three times, one way. Flying for both of us (WorldCon) is also going to drive up the costs. Our tickets for Reno will probably hit $500-550 each.

Between the hotel and travel, you’re already into the $1200 range for both of these events, and we haven’t covered food yet.

A few fans have put to us “With Phoenix Rising coming out, shouldn’t you two make a showing?”

Now that’s a solid argument, and Dragon*Con does attract some of the major players like Anne McCaffrey, Tracy & Laura Hickman, Margaret Weis, and Terry Brooks; but it’s not the writers people come to see. Dragon*Con is all about the Media stars. Some media guests range from cast members of Ron Moore’s Battlestar Galactica to (no kidding) Happy Days. You also get blasts from the past (Lou Ferrigno, Gil Gerrard, and Carrie Henn), geek icons (Robert Llewelyn, Ray Park, the Mythbusters Build Team) and the downright bizarre (professional wrestlers and porn stars). My bro from Aotearoa, Lani, fares far better at Dragon*Con as it is geared for who he is and what he does. Writers can do well there, too, provided they are New York Times Bestsellers.

“But it’s a networking opportunity. Tens of thousands of people attend!” Sure, there’s a lot of people that come to Dragon*Con, but writers making connections and closing deals? Hardly. Writers (the ones I know) go there to party, make no mistake!

Networking? Too insane.

Now that we’ve covered Dragon*Con’s shortcomings, let’s cast a critical eye on WorldCon, an event I’ve only attended once. This year, as a matter of fact. From an organizational point-of-view, WorldCon 68 in Australia could have been better.

A lot better.

Allright, I’ll say it—WorldCon 68 in Australia was nothing short of a train wreck.

Again, this was my first WorldCon and I didn’t have anything to compare it to, unless you count the WorldCon in Canada back in 2003 where four queries went ignored, and then two weeks before the event they invited me to attend. Of course that was along time ago and this was Melbourne, Australia. They had two years to represent the Southern Hemisphere, so surely they would bring their “A” game.

Not so much.

I dodged a bullet with some of WorldCon’s last minute changes, but Pip really had to ask “What the hell is going on?” a few times. Other authors we knew were simply giving up on the schedule and attending the panels they wanted, be it from the panelists’ perspective or the attendees. The there was a bit of a SNAFU in Child Care (which could have been avoided with a bit of communication), and the venue’s WiFi can be best describe as a clusterfuck with a side order of bullshit…

…and this was my first ever WorldCon experience.

So, why go again?

WorldCon is a con for writers, and fans pack the panels. Also in attendance are publishers and agents. Don’t get me wrong—there’s a lot of fun to be had at a WorldCon (just look at the programming), but a lot of business just happens there, too. Pip and I, as we were in town, were invited to a seminar hosted by Harper Collins Australia, concerning digital publishing. During the weekend, we had lunch with Diana Gill, our editor from Harper Voyager, where we talked frankly about Ministry business. Then came the Harper Voyager party, our chance to drink and make merry with other authors at our new publishing house. There, we got into a pleasant chat with the head editor for Harper Collins Australia/NZ. Turns out a very rough Phoenix Rising draft was on her desk; and what she read of it she really enjoyed, or so she said.

A month later, our steampunk adventure got picked up by Voyager Australia/NZ, beginning our international distribution opportunities.

Coincidence? No. I don’t think so.

WorldCon is a place where deals and networking can happen. It’s less of a party and more of an investment. Book dealers will have our works there. It is face time amongst other writers, editors, and fans. Pip and I should not get lost in the shuffle when established literary icons of the genre hold court at Dragon*Con. We get panel time, and personal time.

There is also the newness of this year’s WorldCon. As it is a different location and a different volunteer group, Pip and I are hoping this extended weekend will go smoother than our stay in Melbourne.

This may be a smart business decision, but by no means am I thrilled with it. Every time I went to Dragon*Con, I had a blast. I don’t know what was more fun: brushing shoulders with the media guests, enjoying time with other authors, touching base with friends from far-off, or simply watching geeks interact with themselves and the menagerie that is Dragon*Con. This was another tough call I (and Pip) had to make when mapping out where we wanted to go and what we could afford in 2011. While Dragon*Con can’t happen for us presently, we won’t be sitting put. We have other events (coming soon) that will give folks plenty of time and opportunity to catch up with us. For now, the spectacle and splendor that is Dragon*Con will simply have to wait.

Now, if Ministry strikes a media deal…

Well, don’t be surprised if this clockwork music box quickly changes a key or two.

While Twitter, Whrrl, and Facebook are my go-to-tools in online sharing, their limitations can stunt my stream-of-consciousness on a subject. So I’m taking ideas that come from other discussions and networks, bringing them here, and expanding on them.

Also, I too am annoyed when people post a waxing philosophic dissertation as a Facebook status. No, I’m not going to become “that guy” on the Social Networks.

This blogpost was inspired from a Twitter exchange I enjoyed with one of the sweetest ladies of Social Media, Vivid Muse. Viv was easing into her day, and fired off this tweet across my starboard bow:

VividMuse: Also, Three Stooges are even dumber than I remember. It would be interesting to try and classify all men as Larry, Curly or Moe. Possible?

My reply:

I think there’s a little bit of 3 Stooges in all men. (Heck, @PhilippaJane saw my “Curly” on the JMU football field last month.)

This reminded me of my own personal observation of The Three Stooges and why us men-folk are so curiously drawn to them like moths to a bonfire. What is it about those three guys?

It should be noted while their humor is crude, base, and just plain absurd, the Three Stooges never went for the gross joke ala modern slapstick offerings like Opie & Anthony, the Jackass crew, or Tom Green. The latter I would describe as the “torture pr0n” of comedy. Yes, the Stooges did cause mayhem and chaos wherever they were but it never crossed the extreme end of tolerance. Even the Stooges knew their limits.

This brought me to a possibility that the Three Stooges held a deeper meaning to us men, that perhaps there was — at the core of this slap-riddled humor — a sophistication that has made them sacred.

Yes, sacred. Men can disagree on football versus rugby, Batman versus Superman, and Captain Kirk versus Captain Picard; but ask any man and they will tell you without question that the Three Stooges stopped being The Three Stooges after 1955 (following the death of Shemp Howard).

End of (that) discussion.

So what exactly is the hidden symbolism of The Three Stooges? To understand it, you have to go back to the iconic imagery of King Arthur’s fall.

Yes, I am drawing a parallel between The Three Stooges and Le Morte d’Arthur. Roll with me here…

Depending on which legend you track with, Arthur after his climactic battle with Mordred is seen on a boat with three women (again depending on which legend you track with, presumably are Igrayne, Guinevere, and Morgana) watching over his final journey to Avalon. The symbolism of the three women is usually attributed to the Maid, the Mother, and the Crone, or three stages of a woman’s life: childhood, motherhood, and sage adviser. The “power of three” is rife through classic literature and modern storytelling, from the witches of MacBeth to the Halliwell sisters in Charmed.

So it goes for guys and The Three Stooges. Break down the slapstick comedy trio and you can really see the symbolism. The Three Stooges embody three stages of Man, or at least what men strive to be and why we are constantly at odds with ourselves.

Moe Howard

Moe embodies Control. When the Stooges find themselves in a pickle, who calls the shots? Do we look to Larry for the answers or Curly for the leadership? Hell no, all eyes turn to Moe. He’s the man with the plan. Not always a good plan, but a plan’s a plan. Men, on an average, love to think they have a magic plan that will fix everything. Sometimes, a plan is paramount to brilliance. More often than we like to admit, a plan will end with a pie fight, cops showing up, and its masterminds running into the sunset at double speed. Still, Moe is the Control that men feel must be applied to every situation, be it a crisis or a social situation.

Larry Fine

Larry is the Follower. Yes, men like to take charge. Yes, men like to have the final say. Men also like to hear those above us say “Good work.” or “Well done.” We feel a sense of accomplishment when, as part of a team, victory is earned or problems become solved. As Followers, men still find themselves serving as the Control, but shouldering less of the responsibility. Larry is the first person Moe turns to in order to get things done. And why not? He practices a strong work ethic (Do what Moe tell me to…) coupled with an even stronger motivation (…and he won’t slap me!), making Larry trustworthy and reliable, traits men strive for.

Curly Howard

Then there is Curly. Men want to be him. Women want to tame him. Why? For his physique? (Body by donuts.) For his command of the English language? (Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck.) No, it’s the man’s approach to life: Curly represents Wild Abandon. If we are led to believe the “Girls Gone Wild” video extravaganzas, the role of Wild Abandon is reserved for women only; but wasn’t it John Belushi that called forth the spontaneous “Gator” dance move in Animal House? And wasn’t it Steve Martin that called himself a “wild and crazy guy” to the delight of millions worldwide? And was it not “Weird Al” Yankiovic that fearlessly repurposed pop hits under titles like “Eat It” and “White and Nerdy” to conquer the music charts? These and other “Devil May Care” transgressions can be traced back to Curly. In my recent return to James Madison University, I paid homage to Man’s personification of Wild Abandon by dropping to the ground and spinning on my shoulder. (See my earlier-quoted tweet.) In that moment I won the hearts of the JMU student body, the admiration of my fellow alumni, and the embarrassment of Philippa Ballantine. Curly was always my favorite when growing up, but it was later in life I understood why. Why women always went to Curly first. Why Curly, unleashed, became a juggernaut of Wagnerian proportions. Why Curly, of all the Stooges, is the most cited, most quoted, and most revered of the Stooges. Curly resides where we dare not go. He is that recklessness we feel in our youth and struggle to hold on to in our later years.

Shemp Howard

I would be remiss if I did not include Shemp, the original third man. Shemp managed, while not evident at first, to embody the stage of Man that balances out his predecessor.  Shemp stands for the Consequences of Our Actions. While Curly stands for Wild Abandon, it is Shemp that shows us what happens the day after that leap into the unknown. If there was something needing to be tasted, tested, or tried before the other Stooges proceeded with their master plan, Shemp was usually (yanked) first in line to “see what happens when…” followed by the wheezing, the stammering, and the perfectly-quaffed hair falling as a final curtain into Shemp’s face and blinding the poor man. Shemp — the perpetual lab rat that he was — would step up and serve as a powerful lesson to the responsibilities of what we do, be they voluntary or not. He would also serve as an example of bearing the fallout responsibly, be that fallout voluntary or not.

What you may see on the outside of their vintage comedy shorts and feature films is cream pie battles, early attempts at waterboarding (with fire hoses), and pratfalls testing the mettle of mortals; but underneath the slapstick runs a subtle symbolism of what Men strive for, what we need to be, and why we are what we are. The deeper meaning in the bond shared between Moe, Larry, Curly, and Shemp is ever present in their performances; and once you look past the gags, the slaps, and the eyepokes, you get a sense of why Men are so passionate about their Stooges. They are the building blocks that — together — complete the composition of the male species. This is the reason why, ladies, the same guy who buys you flowers for no reason and surprises you with a day-long trip to a spa is the same guy who refuses to put the toilet seat down and remarks “Damn, she’s hot!” whenever you’re watching True Blood or Burn Notice together. We are complex machines; and to understand how the machine works, you need not look any further than the (pre-1955) works of The Three Stooges.

This is the Power of Three, manning up.