So, I’m all rested up and recovered from an amazing weekend at the Steampunk World’s Fair (review in the works). What’s next?

Why, another con appearance, of course…

Concluding The Ministry MAY-hem Tour (at least, this part of it) is an old favorite of mine — BALTICON. It was nearly ten years ago when I first arrived at this event with Morevi.  I looked something like this back then…

This was before the time of facial hair, before the days of podcasting, before the days of Facebook, Twitter, and Social Media. Right now, I’d love to go up to that guy and say “You have no idea what’s in store for you, bro.”

What a long strange trip it has been. And with the premiere of Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel, it may just get a wee-bit stranger at Balticon 45 as tea parties, time traveling dances, rock-and-roll courtesy of Ditched by Kate, and panels-panels-panels are all in store! Here’s my schedule for the next few days…

FRIDAY
New Independent Voices in New Media — 6:00pm, Chesapeake
(New Media GoH, Pip Ballantine will be taking my place on the “Alien Sex: What Could Go Wrong?” panel at 9:00pm)

SATURDAY
The Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Tea Party & Book Launch — 3:00 pm, Chesapeake

REMINDER: At the Ministry tea party we are giving away prizes, including a Catherinette steampunk ring AND a Dr. Grordbort signet ring. Constellation Books will be there to sell books, and we will provide tea and cookies!

Antigone’s Wrath LIVE — 4:00pm, Salon D
Low Budget Filmmaking — 9:00pm, Chesapeake

SUNDAY
Metamor City LIVE — 5:00pm, Chesapeake
The Time Traveler’s Ball (serving as DeeJay PirateBoy) — 10pm-1am, Garden Suite

MONDAY
Networking Vs. Platform — 10:00am, Salon C
The Shrinking Man Project LIVE — 1:00pm, Derby

The schedule is subject to change (in case of invites to join other panels), but now you know where to find both Pip Ballantine and myself. Don’t be a stranger — say hi, buy a book, and get your geek on at Balticon!

Social Media carpetbaggers (as I call them here, and I’m liking the term the more I use it) would challenge me on many of my work beliefs and ethics, two of which that have been brought to light just this month:

• You can’t make a viral video. They just happen.
• There is such a thing as bad publicity.

I have seen this as a topic on many a conference track — “How to Make Your Videos Viral!” or some such nonsense — and I also get the “Let’s make a viral video…” request a lot from my day job. After my skin stops crawling, I pull no punches and speak the best-kept-secret truth that the carpetbaggers won’t admit: you can’t make a viral video. A video goes viral due to traffic on social networks increasing awareness (of a product, person, or cause), and through self-replicating processes that gain momentum on both the Internet and mainstream media.

Did you catch that “self-replicating” part? That’s key. No one can make self-replication happen. You can promote a video, sure, but that does not necessarily guarantee it going viral.  The constant thread (if there is one) is luck. Good or bad, it comes down to luck. You can’t predict it. You can’t produce it. You never know what will strike that nerve. Viral videos just happen.

And in the case of Rebecca Black, that is exactly what happened. What two comedians referenced off-handedly has now become 2011’s viral sensation.

If you are missing the hubbub, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” has become the new benchmark for viral video success. On March 1, it sported a modest few thousand viewings; but with two snarky quips from Mystery Science Theatre 3000’s Mike Nelson and Comedy Central’s Daniel Tosh, it broke ten million within two weeks.

How could this have happened? As it is when someone asks me “What makes a video go viral?” my answer is “I don’t know.” After writing up this blogpost, I still don’t know…

…but I do have a few opinions on what helped it along.

The production, or cookie-cutter thereof. When synthesizers with accompanying “Oooh’s” and “Yeah-yeah’s” kick in at the start, you know exactly what you’re going to get. The look and the feel of the video is much like the song itself: processed. So are  Black’s vocal abilities which has been Auto-Tuned within an inch of perfect-pitch. Provided you can make it to the end, this Ark Music Factory production comes across as a Hannah Montana video…that didn’t make Disney’s final cut and therefore tabled for a later project. (Maybe a lost video reel or some such.)

Songwriting: Twitter Style. I read a YouTube comment that called the song “Twitter: The Musical.”

I wish I could say, as a Twitter user, I was insulted; but damn, that’s funny.

Writers Clarence Jey and Patrice Wilson penned lyrics that are…

…

…

Well, they…

…

I got nothing. So here’s a sample:

“Fun, fun, think about fun / You know what it is / I got this, you got this / My friend is by my right / I got this, you got this / Now you know it.”

Maybe I’m old, but no, I don’t know it. I have no clue what “it” is. Seriously, what have I got and what have you got, and if the girl to the right of you is your friend, who’s the chick on your left? Is she another BFF or is she a right bitch?

Not all the lyrics in “Friday” are this cryptic. Some do make sense:

“Yesterday was Thursday / Today is Friday / We so excited / We gonna have a ball today / Tomorrow is Saturday / And Sunday comes afterwards.”

Umm…yeah…

It ain’t Billy Joel, is it?

The jury is still out on whether Rebecca Black herself is the next Rachel Berry as the audio’s post-production completely masks her vocal ability. I would hazard a guess the Ark Music Factory assures “quality” by running all their clients through Auto-Tune. (What’s good for the pop talent of today is good for the pop talent of tomorrow, right?) It is evident from her first interview that she wouldn’t say no to becoming the next YouTube discovery. She balked at Ark Factory’s offer to pull the video down. “I decided not to give the haters the satisfaction that they got me so bad I gave up,” Black told The Daily Beast. I admire the 13-year old’s conviction, particularly in light of the video’s feedback.

And here’s where my second point is proven.

As reported by CNN, Mashable, and other news outlets, this “overnight notoriety” is less about Rebecca Black destined to become the next Justin Bieber and more about how Rebecca Black is destined to become the next Ghyslain Raza.

Who is Ghyslain Raza? You might know him by his other moniker: The Star Wars Kid. You know, the geeky high school kid who filmed himself wielding a golf ball retriever as a two-edged lightsaber?

Yeah. That guy.

There is such a thing as bad publicity and Black is harvesting it like a finely Auto-Tuned combine. Black’s newfound fame, when you read the comments and commentary, is not about her impressive vocal range rivaling that of Susan Boyle (a YouTube sensation herself) but more about the appalling nature of this video. Even Nelson and Tosh were very strategic in what they mocked — the song, not Black herself.

Where this backlash gets uncomfortable is when, in pursuit of being clever, the feedback gets personal. Rolling Stone’s recent column, tongue-in-cheek as it was, was titled “Why Rebecca Black is a Demon-Wizard Child Piper.” I’ll admit — I chuckled at the title, but then wished it had had been called something else. Maybe “Why Rebecca Black’s Friday is a Sign of the Rise of the Machines” would have worked as well? The unabashed cruelty directed at Black is unwarranted, but that doesn’t mean the song and video are open game (which was the intent of the RS article). For their own $2000 investment, Black’s parents should be outraged that the song lyrics hadn’t been given a proper grammar check.

Concerning Black’s parents — that gets the “Dad” side of me a little fired up. Maybe this is “sideline parenting” at its finest, but I find myself constantly swapping out Black and her parents with (an older) Sonic Boom and myself, asking myself “What would I do?” As a parent, I would have never approved this video. It’s wrong on a lot of levels, but the most disturbing one — as a few critics have pointed out —is the full-grown adult riffing about a 13-year-old’s quest to party. His rap break goes like this:

“R-B, Rebecca Black / So chillin’ in the front seat / In the back seat / I’m drivin’, cruisin’ / Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes / Wit’ a car up on my side / Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me / Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream / Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend / We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all”

Anyone else find this attempt at “suburbia street cred” a little creepy?

Before anyone plays the “What about Ludicrous and his rap break in Bieber’s ‘Baby’ song?” card, note Bieber’s lyrics. “Baby” is a pop song about first loves, so at least Ludicrous and Justin can see eye-to-eye there.

But this guy? Switching lanes and screaming at school busses? I’m now wondering if he’s the guy wearing a trenchcoat on sunny days at the playground.

Another call that screams for “parental intervention” is Black’s desire “to show people there’s more to me than they think” by recording an acoustic version of “Friday.” Again, maybe this is my background taking notice, but an acoustic version of a crap song isn’t going to make it a better song. An acoustic version of “Friday” would be the equivalent of releasing a leather bound, gold leaf hardback edition of The Eye of Argon or a limited edition Blu-Ray of Battlefield: Earth.

While I will slam the song, the video, and Ark Music Factory (I have a past experience with a “talent mill” like this. True bottom feeders of the entertainment industry.), I would never think of slamming Black as some trolls out there have chosen to do. Throwing insults at a 13-year old girl, who probably had no idea what she was getting into, is never cool. The backlash against her is cruel and unfair, and I can only hope she is able — with the right people behind her — to turn this around.

What is happening here is the other side of viral videos that no one can prepare for: overwhelmingly negative criticism. This time, the “viral success” is less about fame and more about infamy, but how much of this can you really call a success?

For me, no matter how trivial or professional the posting, I strive to produce quality content. With my own upcoming video project coming up very soon, I’d like to think the video would go viral based on its worth, its creativity, and its sense of fun. I’m keeping it simple, and I’ll be able to step back and look at the final work with pride.

But can I promise you it will go viral? No, I can’t.

What I can promise you, though, is my offing will be completely and utterly Auto-Tone free.

This weekend, Pip and I took off for a Valentine’s Day weekend. Instead of getting our lovey-dovey on today, we dropped off the Boom with grandparents, and enjoyed a quiet pre-Valentine’s Day weekend in Staunton, Virginia. If you are not familiar with Staunton, this is truly one of the crown jewels of Virginia’s crown. It is a fantastic town nestled within the Shenandoah Valley, just about 20-30 minutes away from my alma mater, James Madison University. Why I chose Staunton as our getaway weekend, though, wasn’t for its historic architecture, quiet setting, or quaint downtown shops. It was for The American Shakespeare Center.

You probably don’t think “Staunton, Virginia” when you think of William Shakespeare, but you should. The American Shakespeare Center (ASC) is located in downtown Staunton, and they manage the Blackfriars, the world’s only reproduction of Shakespeare’s indoor theatre. This weekend, the ASC was putting on The Comedy of Errors, a show that holds a very special place for me. As Pip had never seen a production of Comedy nor a show at the Blackfriars, I thought this would be a great opportunity. Better still, the Frederick House offered a Shakespeare Package that included tickets and a backstage tour. As you can see by the photos (click on them to view in full), the Blackfriars is gorgeous, and how you see the stage—even with the lights up—is how the ASC does Shakespeare. The show itself was tremendous, and Pip and I are still talking about it. The actors (including an old friend from JMU who is still performing with the company, I am proud to say) gave high energy with every line and every comic moment, making the less-than-two-hours traffic fly by. So yeah, when you think of Shakespeare, you should also think of Staunton, and you should make it a priority to catch a show here. It was a terrific choice Pip and I made, and we’re heading back to Staunton in May. (More on that trip to come…)

What I didn’t expect from this trip to the Blackfriars was a memory from the past, back when I was a professional actor and facing a tough call.

Not to sound too ominous, the ASC and I have a history. I knew the ASC when they were the SSE, or the Shenandoah Shakespeare Express. They started as a theatre troop independent of the JMU Theatre department, run by the Shakespeare professor, Dr. Ralph Cohen, and under the artistic direction of Jim Warren. (Side note: Jim is still the Artistic Director at the ASC. That really makes me smile.) They first got off the ground with Henry V, and then took on Richard III. While I missed Henry, I caught Richard…

I didn’t like it.

No, I mean, I really didn’t like it.

Exactly how much did I, the young, 20-something, I-got-this-acting-thing-down, college student, not like this production of Richard III? I ranted about it. With a couple of other students. In my acting class. Oh yeah, and then I reviewed it in a write-up a year later with Taming of the Shrew (a show I really, really liked). This review was shared with the cast.

As you might guess, my rant came back to haunt me. Particularly when I came to audition for the company.

When I first started auditioning for the SSE people were surprised, considering the earlier disdain I threw around over Richard III. A lot of it had to do with my semester in England. That time overseas gave me some space between the microcosmos that was JMU, and also opened my eyes a bit. I took a Shakespeare class, saw a LOT of Shakespeare, and grew up a bit. When I got back to JMU, the SSE started hitting a stride. From Twelfth Night to MacBeth to the insanely-difficult Measure for Measure, the company hit a stride and quickly built a reputation for getting high school students excited about Shakespeare.

I wanted to be a part of that.

I auditioned.

I never made callbacks.

I wasn’t surprised.

No, I didn’t blame the SSE. That’s not what a professional (or someone who wanted to be a professional) would do. A lot of things happen in the audition process (and as an actor and as an editor, I’ve been on both sides of it). When you have only a few open slots and a lot of talent showing up for said slots, I could have breathed fire while dancing a salsa and still not made callbacks.

Yet a voice in the back of my mind wondered if things would have been different had I kept my opinions to myself.

Fast-forward a few years. I am auditioning once again for the SSE. This time, by invitation. At that time, the SSE was collaborating with the Richmond Shakespeare Festival and Vpstart Crow Productions in a massive cattle call audition for Shakespeare, and I also remember my elation when the SSE invited me to their second round of auditions. While this was still the same SSE I knew back in the day, things were very different for the company; just as I was still the same ol’ TeeMonster…but also a very different actor. The morning started early, and by the afternoon I had read for a variety of roles. My heart was practically pounding out of my chest as I waited to hear results from reading, waiting, reading, and reading again. Then, finally, an associate started reading off names for people to stick around for the last round of auditions. Mine was called.

This was it. Final callbacks.

Then the other shoe fell.

The SSE handed me a contract. (No, that wasn’t a typo—a contract.) This contract spelled out everything, down to the last detail, of exactly what an SSE associate did for the company, how much they were paid, how much they were fined if they did not meet these conditions, and how long of a commitment they expected from their actors. I give a lot of credit to the SSE: this was the clearest contract I have ever read. There was no question of what was expected of me, and I was ready to rise to that challenge.

What I wasn’t ready for was what came next: I couldn’t go into callbacks unless I signed it.

To perform with the SSE would have meant quitting my job and either commuting to Harrisonburg (2+ hours, one way), or relocating. (We had just moved into a house.) Making a call like this without checking with Natalie would have carried severe consequences. I was also making a commitment to a company without know where I would “fit” into the show. (In other words, I was agreeing to the commitment, and then finding out where I was cast.) And if something unforeseen were to happen, I would still be locked into this agreement with no out, the exception being to “buy myself out” of the contract which I couldn’t afford.

While others around me were quickly signing and turning in their paperwork, I hesitated. I was being told “Sign it now…” and I couldn’t. Every instinct in me told me not to. I needed time to consider.

The SSE Associate reluctantly got Jim Warren to the door, and Jim—as I’d always known him to be—was gracious. With actors filing in and final auditions seconds before commencing, he afforded me a few minutes. I was told what I already knew: No exceptions. This was the way the SSE did things back then, and I had to make a choice.

I glanced over to the assembled actors all waiting for the last round of readings, handed Jim back the unsigned contract, and said, “I’m sorry. Maybe next time.” and I walked away.

I walked away from my last shot with the Shenandoah Shakespeare Express.

These memories came back to me this weekend, and Pip was doing her best to cheer me up. It wasn’t regret I was feeling. I don’t miss acting (well, okay, yeah, maybe a little…), but I do miss performing Shakespeare. There really is something magical to watch people—kids, especially—laugh at jokes that were written over 400 years old. When you consider performances like Tenant’s Hamlet, Stewart’s MacBeth, McKellen’s Richard III, or Branagh’s Much Ado About Nothing, you appreciate the passion and love that go in these productions; and even if you have seen the show before, it will be the first time you’ve seen it that way.

So, yeah, I miss performing William’s works.

Since this weekend’s wonderful production, and taking the theatre’s tour (which, again, I highly recommend), I have gone back to that crossroad. I know had I signed that contract, had I gone through that callback, things would have been different. Whether I had been cast or not, I would not be the person I am today. I probably wouldn’t be blogging right now. People in my life (Pip, Sonic Boom, friends from podcasting, friends from writing, etc.) would never be. Sacrificing those band of brothers, the days I have seen, and hearing the chimes at midnight just will not do. Heck, just thinking of what I am now and what I could have been could easily make one wiser, mad.

Bonus points if you just saw what I did there.

I guess I never really considered that moment a crossroad, but there it is. Lani Tupu once told me that I will never “stop” being an actor. It will always be a part of me; and when I’m ready, the stage will be waiting. I admit to getting my fixes when I take on voicework with various podcasts, including my own; but will I ever return to Shakespeare on stage? I honestly don’t know. I think Pip said it best in her tweet today:

For those who feel alone, remember things can change faster than you think.

I don’t regret the choice I made at that particular crossroad. I’m just missing time with the Bard. We were the best of friends. Still are. I think Pip sees that, too. I Forgot to mention we upgraded our seats for Comedy, and we took two “Gallant” seats which are stools on the stage. Pip ribbed me a bit with “You just want to get on the stage with them, don’t you?”

Yeah. I do. When I’m ready.

“I’ve put this off for far too long” — Bilbo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring

This is something I’ve wanted to do for myself, for you all, and more importantly for my daughter whom you may hear me refer to here and elsewhere as Sonic Boom. I closed Comments on this entry as I think condolences and criticism people would express have already been made on Facebook, Twitter, and on my 5-word blogpost. If you have something to ask, something to share, or otherwise, it’s not like it’s hard to find me. I am visible on my respective networks once again, and my virtual door is open.

I’ll also tell you straight-up a motivation behind this posting has been the conjecture and criticism that others have expressed at both my expense, and at my daughter’s. As it is in a Community, there are a few that have been accusing me of not being up front, of misleading the Community, and taking advantage of the support and compassion I have been receiving over these past two months. Sure, you can’t have the positive without the negative, but this for them, too. “Put up or shut up,” you say? Gladly.

I don’t consider this blogpost “total transparency” because even with my love of Social Media I still believe some things are best kept private. This post is my perspective on a relationship spanning over ten years that took an unexpected turn and then came to a tragic end. No mudslinging. No ugly, sordid details. This will be my story, from the beginning.

I hope you will take a moment to read it.

My Love

After a significant relationship in my life, I was back on the dating scene …and failing miserably at it. I mean, when you’re ditched at dance clubs and stood up on blind dates, you’ve reached depths only Jules Verne comprehends. My roommate suggested I give America Online Personals a shot. Why not? I filled out the online profile, uploaded a picture, and waited.

In that first 24 hours I discovered a lot of lonely people. Everything just felt wrong and I was about to delete my profile, until I got an email very different from the others: it was sincere.

That was how I met Natialie. She was to be a complete and utter surprise in my life.

The irony in Nat and me as a couple was that it started off as a long-distance relationship, something I swore against after two heartbreaks I had no desire to relive. An advantage to our situation, though, was Nat’s employer at the time: Sprint. This was in my pre-Skype days, and Nat had unlimited long distance so we talked on the phone. A lot. We talked about everything and anything. We never shared an awkward silence that I can remember. The more I got to know Nat, the deeper I fell for her. We had not been dating for more than a few months when an opportunity came up for her to transfer to Reston, Virginia. She called me to ask if I was okay with it.

Within a few weeks, I was helping Nat move across the country. One of the happiest memories I have of the two of us.

I didn’t look back when we eventually moved in together. I was in for the long haul, for better or for worse. Nat was the first girlfriend I ever had that believed in me, believed in what I did, and believed in my potential. Things were far from perfect, and we had our moments where we both thought we were a mistake; but everything just felt right when we were together

It was on May 8, 1998 when we married, a new chapter in a book I was eager to write with her.

My Heartbreak

In 2000, things were beginning to change in our relationship. Of course, things always change in a relationship, it silly to assume they would not. Many of these changes I saw coming and welcomed, but there were others that I still don’t know when they happened or what triggered them; but distance started to grow between us. This was hard for me as our gift had always been open communication, something I cherished and tried never to take for granted. I would never claim that we shared perfect communication, but we did talk about everything. That was before we started to drift, before Nat couldn’t seem to talk to me like she used to.

I asked for help once.

Twice.

After a third time, I resigned to handle this on my own, and hopefully I could. Our daughter, Sonic Boom, had arrived by this point. A lot more was at stake than just us.

As I mentioned before, I won’t mudsling. I have no mind nor place to as I have my own share of faults contributing to this breakdown. Still, I fought for what we had, and what I believed we could be, until 2007 rolled around. I found myself completely and utterly alone in wanting to make things right. This meant having to make a choice. A tough one. Finally, in 2009, after hours of tears, hard words, and revelations, I left — what I thought was for the last time — the place I had called home.

There I was: 40, a dad, a rookie at the day job, and starting over in a two-bedroom apartment in Ashburn, Virginia. I thought I had been scared when I signed the papers to the house. This was a whole new kind of fear.

I was accused by those who knew of this separation as taking an “easy” out. There was nothing easy about any of this. There is nothing easy about sitting in an empty finished basement, holding your daughter and explaining to her why daddy can’t live there anymore. No, nothing easy about any of this at all.

Natalie and I were both very fortunate to have Allison Duncan, in the midst of a very ugly divorce, step in and give us sound advice: Seek mediation. That first meeting, hard as it was, was a huge step forward for both of us. We discovered we could still work together to create something positive, at the very least for Sonic Boom.

While mediation was helping us come to grips with all this, nothing had suddenly become easy about this. I remained optimistic, thought, that things would right themselves and in the long run. Natalie and I would be happier people from this point. That was essential for Sonic Boom and for everyone in our lives.

My Loss

I entered 2010 resolute that this would be the year I’d get back on track. With everything. I had already taken a huge step forward with Books & Braun. My day job (well aware of my situation) had been exceeding all expectations. I had mapped out to the summer a schedule and strategy for future projects in podcasting and writing.

And with the holidays behind us and Sonic Boom happy and smiling, Natalie and I were progressing forward. Slowly, but we were getting there.

When my Dad was knocking on my door on that Wednesday morning, I thought it was a neighbor’s door receiving this really insistent visitor. He had to call me on the phone to get me out of bed. Dad sat me down on my couch and told me Natalie was gone. Sonic Boom was okay. Nat had been sick with the flu, had been given orders by the doctor to quarantine herself, and sent her to Grandma and Grandad’s for a sleepover. Sonic Boom was at school presently. She didn’t know about mommy, but for the time being she was okay.

To this day, I remember the white noise, something like in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer when Buffy found her mom dead on the couch. If you remember that episode, people were talking to Buffy, and she sees them but doesn’t hear them. I never understood why Wheedon did that.

Now I did, and that was me. In the apartment.

I remember it being tough to breathe. I don’t know how long I was there before I started making the phone calls. The first person I contacted probably wouldn’t surprise anyone.

It would have been 1 a.m. her time, but Pip answered. Much like me, she was wide awake after I told her; and then started giving me things to do, people to call, and places to go. A priority list. Sounds simple enough, but at that moment everything was worse than slow motion. More like time lapse.

I needed to tell Sonic Boom. Holy shit. How the hell do I do that?

I was reaching for the phone when it rang. It was Sonic Boom’s school. The principal was calling a meeting at my convenience with the school councilor, Sonic Boom’s teacher, and herself.

I looked at the clock. An hour had gone by?

The meeting with Sonic Boom’s principal, councilor, and teacher later that morning was when I finally cried. Then came 4:00 p.m. when I sat down with Sonic Boom, both sets of grandparents, and my church pastor. I told Sonic Boom that mommy had died, that she was still watching over her (And yes, skeptics, I do believe that and that’s how I’m raising her. Cope.), and that I was going to take care of her. I offered to Sonic Boom that she could spend the night with Grammie and Grandpa (Nat’s parents).

“No, daddy,” Sonic Boom replied. “It’s Wednesday. I go to Ashburn with you.”

My throat tightened, but I nodded and gave her a kiss on the head. Sonic Boom then proceeded to play with the grandparents and the pastor while I packed the car for a few nights in Ashburn.

From this point, I went into auto-pilot. I had to identify Natalie. I remember touching her forehead, and remarking on how cold she felt. Then came the arrangements for her funeral, something that would not have happened had it not been for the earlier-mentioned Philippa Ballantine and my Twitter network. (More on that later.) I also began a frantic move back to Manassas, frantic nature because while I was managing funeral arrangements the tribute video offered from the funeral home fell through. This mean it was up to me to take care of it, so now I was reassembling my editing suite and planning to be attached for two days to Final Cut. I was okay editing Movements I and II of Trois.

When I hit the opening of III, everything caught up with me.

I had hit that point so hard I sent out a tweet asking for help. Within minutes, I was on the phone with a voice I’d not heard from in some time. Meghan listened to me cry, provided a calm in the storm, and helped me get back on track with the video. During the video’s production, I felt everything. I was empty by the time the memorial happened, but whatever I had to say about Natalie was in this 11-minute tribute. Still is. It had apparently been a popular assumption that as I had separated from the marriage I had stopped caring about Natalie. That could not have been farther from the truth.

Trois was (and always will be) a tribute to the woman I loved, the mother of my little girl. This is how I and Sonic Boom will remember her.

My Steps Forward…

I know this is still the beginning of a journey down an unknown road. However, even in light of banks re-enacting classic Three Stooges routines, ill-timed snowstorms, and government entities dragging feet as consummate professionals, I am still optimistic of what 2010 and the future  holds for me and my daughter. Back on my Imagine That! blog, I wrote a slightly edgy article on how Social Media will be growing up. I could hear in my own voice a bit of disdain for what started as a wonderful ways and means of keeping touch with friends old and new. When news hit Twitter of Nat’s death, I felt as if the Tribe that I remembered from the early days of Twitter had returned. In the podosphere, my peers expressed their condolences and played promos on Sonic Boom’s behalf. (Again, more on that later…) On Facebook, friends I’d not talked to in years all reached out to me. At the viewing and memorial, all aspects of my life came to show their respect and support, similar to the overwhelming day when other aspects showed up on my doorstep to help me move from Ashburn to Manassas and help reclaim my house. Sonic Boom met people she now calls her family. I discovered that while I was on my own with Serena, I was not alone.

Then Pip and Podcasting’s Rich Sigfrit launched The Boom Effect. While I wasn’t looking to have it restored, my faith in Social Media and in people received a much-needed boost. Because of the generosity of family, friends, and people I have not enjoyed the pleasure of meeting, Natalie received a tribute she deserved, Sonic Boom has possibilities afforded to her that would have been difficult to make happen, and I am able to keep things in order while the storm winds rage outside.

I now take stock of the “little wins” in my life. It is very easy to let the hang-up’s and pitfalls life throws at you to slow you down through these times; but I am working to be the best example, the best role model, for Sonic Boom. To do that, I focus on those days when things go right. Intersections Inc. where I work has been such an accomplishment. I am using my powers of Social Media for good in blogging, podcasting, and tweeting for ID Guardian. My boss has been cracking jokes with me as she did before Christmas. I’m finding myself back on a positive, productive direction. Not out of the woods, but I do see sunlight through the treetops.

And thankfully, I’m not in Phil Rossi’s woods. Again. A little triumph.

I’m also starting to write and podcast again. A recent Bird House Rules was my step back into working the microphone, the same week I wrote a column for my day job. More columns like that, listening to a few podiobooks, and a few talk with my peers are now pushing me to write again. This week, along with getting the taxes done of course, I’m carving out some time to write. Not for work, but for me.

That is what the next few weeks, months, and years will be: challenges. We don’t have instruction manuals, troubleshooting guides, or even a roadmaps through life. I can only strive to be the best dad I can be and help Sonic Boom remember her mommy the way I remember her. I know, even in light of this testimonial, people will question, draw conclusions, and criticize me; but really, is that anything new? Not really. I am now focused even more on how my kid is doing, and where I am headed in my own career choices.

This is my story of love, heartbreak, loss, and the first steps forward. I tell it to you so you can understand where I’m coming from, and where I’m going. I tell you this story in the hopes that if you ever find yourself where I’m at — and I hope you never do — that you find some insight, some inspiration. At these crossroads, some may hesitate. I encourage you to pick a path and move forward. That is what Sonic Boom and I are doing right now. There will be those times when we fall, but we know we’re not alone; and to all of you, “thank you” doesn’t really seem to be enough…but it will have to do.

Thank you. For yesterday. For today. For tomorrow.

From both of us.

With a whopping 42 comments to it (and as that is the big answer, I thought the time was right for this post…), I think it’s pretty much common knowledge by now that I got a new job. I didn’t really consider how quickly the wheels got rolling on getting me in there; but on retrospect, this place did not diddle around. I was offered the job on August 4, taught my final class on August 14, and then on August 17 I walked in, filed paperwork, went through the orientation, and was then literally thrown into the thick of it. I didn’t hit the ground running. I bitch-slapped the ground, made it call me a pretty girl, and had it beg for more when I was through with it.

And the really frightening bit? After a week, I’m still not sure how my voice mail works.

But what exactly is the job? I didn’t really go into detail on that in “Perseverance and Peter Gabriel” as that post was less about the job itself and more about the job hunt. Amidst the comments of congratulations and inspiration, a few of you have wondered “So what is this job you got?” I wanted to wait until I finished the first week before I shared details, and I’m glad I did. Last week was overwhelming, amazing, and eye-opening, on a lot of levels.

I was also beat at the end of every day. Slept a lot. Now, with some of the blur that was last week processed, here it is…

Intersections is a security firm, based out of Chantilly, VA. Since 1996, Intersections has dealt with credit history and digital identity protection. They are in the business of making electronic transactions, be they financial or personal, safer; and I have been hired as their Social Media Manager. (I’d like to point out that this job falls under Corporate Communications, not Marketing. That thrills me like you wouldn’t believe.) They were looking for someone who could not only apply Social Media, but understand the different initiatives out there and what they offer.

They were also looking for someone who could write. Yeah, I think I got that covered, too.

What I’m particularly excited about with this job is the angle Intersections takes with Social Media. Obviously, I’m being called upon to manage blogs, create podcasts, edit video (which I’m doing right now), and manage an outreach program with Twitter and (soon) Facebook; but I am also being asked to investigate and research security in Social Media, something I’ve touched on in Bird House Rules but only scratched its surface. On Friday, I was forwarded some news about Social Media from a security perspective and I was floored. The ironic bit is, that morning I was catching up with The SpyCast and listening to a fantastic interview with Dr. Terry Gudaitis who specializes in cyberintelligence gathering. (That’s the June 15, 2009 show if you’re interested.)

I feel as if I am starting all over again in Social Media, this time from a new perspective I hope Blogworld will let me speak on this year. I am officially on their schedule. I’ve confirmed “But Honey, It’s For the Studio” but am working to change topics concerning my second talk. So, if you’re at Blogworld this year, stop me and say “Hi.” It should be good fun in Vegas this October!

A cublicle in transition

So in the end, I am using my knowledge and background on Social Media for good, not for evil. While I will help in the promotion of what Intersections does, I will also be their on-call specialist in Social Media while I find out more about security matters with Twitter, Facebook, WordPress, and the like. My brain has been firing on all cylinders since Day One, and I’m soaking it up like a thirsty sponge. The first week just blinked by, and I’ve not slowed down yet.

If you were wondering, though, how the day job will affect my writing, it will only make me more productive. Now that I know my hours, I can regiment and manage my time efficiently. I’m still writing for AppAdvice; and this weekend Pip and I completed the first draft of Books & Braun: Phoenix Rising, our Steampunk CSI peppered with hints of James Bond. I’m also planning to dust off Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and start working on that. I’ll give up details with an upcoming Survival Guide to Writing Fantasy…and yes, that will be its final episode.

It’s a long story and a hard decision concerning The Guide, and I’ll save the rest for that show.

My job at Intersections is now underway, and my writing is moving forward. From here, all that I have to face now are the possibilities.

This morning, I completed the ninth chapter of All a Twitter, but I may have to reconsider everything — and I mean, everything — and call up Que Publishing to renegotiate the book we agreed I would write.

This is going to be the next big thing in Social Media, and I want to write the first book on it!

Say hello to “Flutter.”

My editor at Que reads this blog, so let me say I’M JUST KIDDING!!! Seriously. I’m three chapters from wrapping up, and you think I want to do a rewrite from the beginning?!

Been there, done that, got a tee shirt, and I had said tee shirt ripped off me when the publisher tried to stiff me out of the advance.

I am hoping with where I’ve seen this video mentioned on Twitter that it goes viral on an apedemic scale. This is some funny, funny stuff. Consider me the first in line for “Sttr” and a pair of “Flutter Eyes.”

Imagine That! Studios presents…

A FIVE-PART
EPIC MINISERIES
VIDEO PODCASTING
EVENT!

*explosions — screams — kittens and puppies*

Yes, Tee Morris premieres his seminar, ANTI-Social Media: What NOT to Do with Web 2.0, today! Running exclusively at Imagine That! Studios, Tee brings his opinions and commentary on Social Media askew in this…

FIVE-PART
EPIC MINISERIES
VIDEO PODCASTING
EVENT!

*explosions — screams — kittens and puppies*

…and critics are raving!

@PodcastJunky says:

“It’s coming from the house of awesome so it is nothing less than fabulous.”

@akaMonty raves:

“Tee Morris once again proves that he’s more than just a beefcake”

Social Media trendsetter Chris Brogan…

…didn’t return my calls and I don’t know what the restraining order is all about.

@zard proclaims:

“Tee Morris is holding me at ransom unless I write this blurb. Send help!”

Podcasting’s Rich Sigfrit pushes you down, presses his foot against your trachea, and states:

“If you can’t be a good example, be a bad example: Tee Morris brings you Anti-Social Media.”

So you — yes, YOU — must stop whatever you’re doing, focus on the screen, and bask in the awesomeness that is this…

FIVE-PART
EPIC MINISERIES
VIDEO PODCASTING
EVENT!

*explosions — screams — kittens and puppies*

(And if you really dig what you’re seeing, the rest will be made available in installments at Imagine That! Studios. Thanks for playing along, everyone, and thank you, Jason, for the “Epic Miniseries” idea. Nice way to kick off a week!)

My kid’s day school teacher heard (from my mother-in-law) that I used to be a professional puppeteer. She asked me if I would be interested in putting on a show for her kids. Even with the schedule I have, I couldn’t refuse because this was for Sonic Boom.

I was told to come up with something that the kids would enjoy, and following a History Channel documentary on Halloween, some shopping on the official store of TAPS and Puppet Universe, and a night of testing sound equipment and recording rigs, this was the end result. As I found myself flying completely solo in the morning, I can’t say this footage will be winning me a Parsec anytime soon…

…but it was a lot of fun, and it will probably not be my last trip there. Laugh with me, or laugh at me — you choose. Whatever the case, Happy Halloween!